Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Monday, 2 May 2011
Sunset
It has been ages since i posted, and there are lots of changes in my life. I am too tired to blog, i will write in 2 weeks time, when things have settled.
I have watched the most beautiful sunset with him in my life. Twice. However, on both occasion, we fought over something stupid, instead of enjoying the perfect sunset. Perhaps, it was a sign that we are never meant to be together.
I miss you, but yet, i could not love you.
I have watched the most beautiful sunset with him in my life. Twice. However, on both occasion, we fought over something stupid, instead of enjoying the perfect sunset. Perhaps, it was a sign that we are never meant to be together.
I miss you, but yet, i could not love you.
Friday, 22 April 2011
3 weeks gone
My exams were over, not confident about it.
started my internship, steep learning curve.
still sick over the past 3 weeks, very bad.
attended a volunteer briefing by the WP, and i felt i was at home. There was no atas atmosphere no "tea" session or anything like that.
lastly, i am upset and disappointed by my very good friend comments on my facebook.
started my internship, steep learning curve.
still sick over the past 3 weeks, very bad.
attended a volunteer briefing by the WP, and i felt i was at home. There was no atas atmosphere no "tea" session or anything like that.
lastly, i am upset and disappointed by my very good friend comments on my facebook.
Friday, 1 April 2011
Perhaps we are never meant to be together
I have changed my profile pictures on a couple of website, and i have received very favorable comments about it. It was a picture taken by T when we went on a ferris wheel ride in Helsinki. It was one of my last few times with him. I had a really bright cheerful smile on my face. I was really happy with him, comfortable with him. Thats why i had such a great smile.
In contrast, my times with Stefan was rocky. He always complaint that i did not smile on the photos, or looks bad on photos. It came to my mind that i was not comfortable being myself with him. I was very comfortable when i was with him for the first evening, when everything was great. However, things turned for the worse ever since the first night. We had a fight on the very second day we met. Whenever we were out together, he would complain about my dressing, (NO SMURFS), eating and walking (TOO LOUD), going to toilet (too noisy) and too messy whenever i visited him in hotel room. When he came over to my place, desk too messy, room too messy, toilet too wet, home too dirty, too lazy, and not a good host. When someone kept on telling you that you are crap, and you suck, continuously over a long period of time, how could you be happy and smile for the pictures?
Now, i realised that we were never meant to be together, because i was seldom happy with him. Time to move on :)
Thanks tony!
In contrast, my times with Stefan was rocky. He always complaint that i did not smile on the photos, or looks bad on photos. It came to my mind that i was not comfortable being myself with him. I was very comfortable when i was with him for the first evening, when everything was great. However, things turned for the worse ever since the first night. We had a fight on the very second day we met. Whenever we were out together, he would complain about my dressing, (NO SMURFS), eating and walking (TOO LOUD), going to toilet (too noisy) and too messy whenever i visited him in hotel room. When he came over to my place, desk too messy, room too messy, toilet too wet, home too dirty, too lazy, and not a good host. When someone kept on telling you that you are crap, and you suck, continuously over a long period of time, how could you be happy and smile for the pictures?
Now, i realised that we were never meant to be together, because i was seldom happy with him. Time to move on :)
Thanks tony!
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
most complex form of human being on earth
After weeks of hearing my classmates giving speeches about the opposite sexes, I have to conclude that woman isnt the most complex form of human being on earth. Gay is the most complex form of human being on earth.
It has been known among the world that woman has the most complex personality or wants in this world. Sometime, they themselves, do not even know what they want. Some of the more common wants are romance, gentlemanly behaviour, sweet talks, someone to pamper them, great sex, time , attention, humour, and the financial status of a guy.
But They are not the most complex form of human being on earth, because not only does Gay has the characteristics or personality of a woman, most Gay also has a ego of a man. In the midst of all the wants required from a woman, they also need someone to boost their ego. and it doesnt matter if the gay is active, or passive, because somehow, in each and every gay, it is a combination of two.
If making a woman happy is tough enough and coming from freud, "Despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer…the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?".
How can one balance the needs of the complexity of what a woman really wants and the ego needs of a man for that one person?
It has been known among the world that woman has the most complex personality or wants in this world. Sometime, they themselves, do not even know what they want. Some of the more common wants are romance, gentlemanly behaviour, sweet talks, someone to pamper them, great sex, time , attention, humour, and the financial status of a guy.
But They are not the most complex form of human being on earth, because not only does Gay has the characteristics or personality of a woman, most Gay also has a ego of a man. In the midst of all the wants required from a woman, they also need someone to boost their ego. and it doesnt matter if the gay is active, or passive, because somehow, in each and every gay, it is a combination of two.
If making a woman happy is tough enough and coming from freud, "Despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer…the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?".
How can one balance the needs of the complexity of what a woman really wants and the ego needs of a man for that one person?
Saturday, 26 March 2011
Who are we to judge on others?
A month ago, there was a report about an MOE scholar who was arrested for an obscene act in the public. Last friday, the identity of the offender was released, and I realised that I actually knew that person. We were sent to the same secondary school as part of our school attachment programme, and even though it was a short 3 weeks programme, I had a good impression on him. He came across as someone who is full of empathy, someone who care for the well-being of his students. I believe that what happened is a very unfortunate incident, and he has already paid for it, as his scholarship will most likely be removed by the ministry.
What i could not understand is the amount of hate messages, the news article has attracted, coming from people who have never worked with him, or even know him. Who are we to judge on others, when we also made mistakes in our life? At least, he accepted his mistake and has the courage to face his punishment.
Scholars are human too, and they have alot of stress which others may not understand. Being identified as a scholar means that they have a huge shoes to fill in.
What i could not understand is the amount of hate messages, the news article has attracted, coming from people who have never worked with him, or even know him. Who are we to judge on others, when we also made mistakes in our life? At least, he accepted his mistake and has the courage to face his punishment.
Scholars are human too, and they have alot of stress which others may not understand. Being identified as a scholar means that they have a huge shoes to fill in.
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Words cannot express my feelings for you
I have chosen these five songs, which reflect my feelings for you ever since we met.
Come What May
Breakeven
Need You Now
Get It Right
If You Ever Come Back
Come What May
Breakeven
Need You Now
Get It Right
If You Ever Come Back
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Get it right
What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin under
Just tryin to help out everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep makin a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh how many times will it take for me
To get it right
To get it right
Can I start again, with my fate again
Cause I can't go back and endure this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this
What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Coz my best intentions keep makin a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to
Get it right?
So I throw up my fists, throw a punch in the air,
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
I'll send down a wish and I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care
What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
My best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take? Oooh
How many times will it take for me
To get it right, to get it right?
Away from this ship goin under
Just tryin to help out everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep makin a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh how many times will it take for me
To get it right
To get it right
Can I start again, with my fate again
Cause I can't go back and endure this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this
What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Coz my best intentions keep makin a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to
Get it right?
So I throw up my fists, throw a punch in the air,
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
I'll send down a wish and I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care
What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
My best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take? Oooh
How many times will it take for me
To get it right, to get it right?
Monday, 21 March 2011
Forgiveness
If I must say the way I’m doing, I will say that I forgive but I don’t forget; not because I want to remember the bad things that hapenned to me, but because my heart is not ready to forget…
I also think that forgetting is the supreme way of forgiving but it must be a natural process that comes (if it comes) without our intervention. When we forget something that has been fogiven it means that we evolved in our spiritual way to such an extend that we are very different from the one we were in the past, when we were hurt.
I think that we should give ouselves the freedom to forget or not the things that happenned to us, so that our souls be free to follow their way…
Forgiving someone who has wronged you, betrayed you, is a very hard thing to do. I struggle with this daily. But I find that the act of forgiveness is not something you do as a gift for the other person, but as a gift for yourself.
You hold on so tight to your anger, your principles, that you just clench so tightly at this thing you can’t let go.
How do you find peace if you’re constantly reminding yourself how badly the other person treated you? Yet that person has moved on, created a new life, finding happiness in his own way. Let go, let go of the anger, and you can then unclench the hand and reach for something else, something new, hopefully something better. Maybe you don’t forget, but over time the memory of the pain fades, and it doesn’t hurt so much anymore.
Then forgive and move forward.
Justice happens when that pain doesn’t affect you anymore and the powerful memory of days long gone don’t hang around too long.
From http://paulocoelhoblog.com/
I also think that forgetting is the supreme way of forgiving but it must be a natural process that comes (if it comes) without our intervention. When we forget something that has been fogiven it means that we evolved in our spiritual way to such an extend that we are very different from the one we were in the past, when we were hurt.
I think that we should give ouselves the freedom to forget or not the things that happenned to us, so that our souls be free to follow their way…
Forgiving someone who has wronged you, betrayed you, is a very hard thing to do. I struggle with this daily. But I find that the act of forgiveness is not something you do as a gift for the other person, but as a gift for yourself.
You hold on so tight to your anger, your principles, that you just clench so tightly at this thing you can’t let go.
How do you find peace if you’re constantly reminding yourself how badly the other person treated you? Yet that person has moved on, created a new life, finding happiness in his own way. Let go, let go of the anger, and you can then unclench the hand and reach for something else, something new, hopefully something better. Maybe you don’t forget, but over time the memory of the pain fades, and it doesn’t hurt so much anymore.
Then forgive and move forward.
Justice happens when that pain doesn’t affect you anymore and the powerful memory of days long gone don’t hang around too long.
From http://paulocoelhoblog.com/
Sunday, 20 March 2011
hope you feel the love
"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into the giving."
I hope you feel the love when you receive my package, because i put in all my love for you. I miss you.
I hope you feel the love when you receive my package, because i put in all my love for you. I miss you.
favourite meal of the day?
After yet another supper, i miss my suppers in Helsinki. The hot pizzas, mcdonalds, spicy instant noodles, in the cold weathers, just made my supper very special.
We can always get these food in singapore, but the atmosphere is just so different.
Favourite meal of the day? Supper and breakfast =D
We can always get these food in singapore, but the atmosphere is just so different.
Favourite meal of the day? Supper and breakfast =D
Friday, 18 March 2011
Fate
Just now when i was having my shower, i wonder if things would turn out differently, if the volcano in Iceland did not erupt, if my condition did not flare up, if i did not have to change my travel plans, will i still be able to meet him???
Things happened for a reason, and i am not sure if knowing you is good or bad.
confused...
Things happened for a reason, and i am not sure if knowing you is good or bad.
confused...
Sunday, 13 March 2011
what he means to me
I just could not stop having dreams about him, and last night, i decided to visit his profile on romeo. It is just a profile, and yet i almost have a hyperventilation when i visited his profile. It has been some time since i visited his profile.
Just a visit to his profile, and i was so "excited"... I am such a weakling and a loser.
Just a visit to his profile, and i was so "excited"... I am such a weakling and a loser.
Saturday, 12 March 2011
Thursday, 10 March 2011
Epic Loser
Last night, i dreamed of him twice! twice! again! fuck, and in one of the dream, i thought i was sleeping on his shoulder, only to realize that it was my pillow =( I am the EPIC loser in life =(
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
Life is on the downhill
I screwed up all of my mid terms, with my best grade at only a B, a far cry from my previous semester... This means that my student life is back to normal, because i always do badly for my mid term tests, with the exception of the last semester, when i did very well.
I do not know why, but i miss him so much, sooooooooo much. It has been 2 months, but yet i still cant get him out of my mind. Was thinking of sending him a birthday card, but decided against it, since nothing would have changed.
At the present moment, doubt that i am ready for anyone, as he is still on my mind. It would be unfair for me to jump into a relationship just to feel wanted and secure. I know how painful it is to be heartbroken, and i do not intend to inflict that pain on anyone, or myself.
Last night was tough, as i cried to myself, after the bad mid terms result, tiring day, and a mistake in booking ticket for my mum, and resulting in never ending nagging last night...
on most occasions, i only give and serve with the best intention, with no harmful thoughts. I am a human, and i do make mistakes.Unfortunately, most people do not appreciate the good times, and only remember the bad mistakes.
Well, the only positive aspect in my life, i have been sleeping like a pig, 10-11 hours of solid sleep everyday!
I do not know why, but i miss him so much, sooooooooo much. It has been 2 months, but yet i still cant get him out of my mind. Was thinking of sending him a birthday card, but decided against it, since nothing would have changed.
At the present moment, doubt that i am ready for anyone, as he is still on my mind. It would be unfair for me to jump into a relationship just to feel wanted and secure. I know how painful it is to be heartbroken, and i do not intend to inflict that pain on anyone, or myself.
Last night was tough, as i cried to myself, after the bad mid terms result, tiring day, and a mistake in booking ticket for my mum, and resulting in never ending nagging last night...
on most occasions, i only give and serve with the best intention, with no harmful thoughts. I am a human, and i do make mistakes.Unfortunately, most people do not appreciate the good times, and only remember the bad mistakes.
Well, the only positive aspect in my life, i have been sleeping like a pig, 10-11 hours of solid sleep everyday!
Saturday, 5 March 2011
thoughts
I had a terrible friday, because i screwed up my monetary economics paper. I could not even do a 3 marks question for the whole paper, and this will be the first time i score 0 points for a 100 marks paper =(
I was sort of ticked off when i went to hand in my documents for the internship because the lady simply forgotten about me dropping by on friday...
After all these drama, i went down to the Guan Yin temple along waterloo street to pray for guidance, because i am simply fed up with the thoughts of him in my mind. Somehow, the lot was good, and with my past experiences, we will meet each other again. But what is the use when we will be 6600 miles apart? I am still angry at him and mad at him, even though i still very much love him and miss him. How can u be angry and love someone at the same time? If we ever meet up again, our first meeting will not be pretty, only angry and hurtful words exchange, at least from me...
well, looking ahead, the shock of not being able to do any monetary economics question stunned me into action. Went to club last night, and this will be the last till my exam is over. From now till 14th April, it will be YES, Yoga, Exercise, and Study!
I was sort of ticked off when i went to hand in my documents for the internship because the lady simply forgotten about me dropping by on friday...
After all these drama, i went down to the Guan Yin temple along waterloo street to pray for guidance, because i am simply fed up with the thoughts of him in my mind. Somehow, the lot was good, and with my past experiences, we will meet each other again. But what is the use when we will be 6600 miles apart? I am still angry at him and mad at him, even though i still very much love him and miss him. How can u be angry and love someone at the same time? If we ever meet up again, our first meeting will not be pretty, only angry and hurtful words exchange, at least from me...
well, looking ahead, the shock of not being able to do any monetary economics question stunned me into action. Went to club last night, and this will be the last till my exam is over. From now till 14th April, it will be YES, Yoga, Exercise, and Study!
Thursday, 3 March 2011
3 times in a night
for goodness sake, i have no idea why, out of a sudden, i had 3 different dreams about stefan last night. It was bad, really bad. because, it was the first time i ever dreamed of him, and first time, i ever dreamed of someone for 3 times in a night! all 3 dreams are different, and totally unrelated to each other. bleah, i wish i could have move on but apparently, my subconscious mind is still thinking of him.
my brain is so dead right now, with monetary economics mid term tomorrow. i hope i will be able to get a decent score, but the situation is pretty dire now =( haiz...
my brain is so dead right now, with monetary economics mid term tomorrow. i hope i will be able to get a decent score, but the situation is pretty dire now =( haiz...
Friday, 25 February 2011
Update!
It has been ages since i last blogged! I have been busy lately, with my mid terms, Yoga and Gym! Yes, I have been working out lately in order to be more healthy and taking charge of my life feels wonderful!
I had friends from Russia over the last weekend, and it was busy with bringing them around, during the day, and meetings in the afternoons. It was cool to have them around, and somehow, I felt much more relaxed and chilled as compared to the time when Stefan was over here.
Some good news over the past weeks, I finally found an internship, and it is not India. It is an internship in EU delegations to Singapore! I just signed the agreement and I really feel good about it. Very excited about spending my whole summer with them! I only have 1 week break before the school starts, but then, i feel that it is worth it since an internship in such a prestigious organization is hard to come by.
I have gained 500g ever since i working out! this is good news for me since i have been desperately trying out to regain those weights which i have lost in Seoul. Pretty happy about it.
School is still crappy, but i think things would work out on its own.
I was looking through some blogs, and this link struck me. It just reminds me of how i first felt when i met stefan.
http://www.out.com/detail.asp?page=1&id=28479
"You can look at someone and feel like you’ve known him forever. The first night I ever had drinks with Richard I felt I knew everything about him."
Thats all folk, time to practise on my speech for tuesday and mid terms on friday! Wish me luck!
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
it is fate
He bought my family a musical box of choc for christmas. I found it very nice, but never keep it. Moments earlier, my sister gave the musical box to her gf. Maybe it is fate that it is time to move on, and not looking back at it...
Maybe it is good, or not, but now, i am sad. the last thing which reminds me of him, is gone.
Maybe it is good, or not, but now, i am sad. the last thing which reminds me of him, is gone.
Dont always take, take time to give...
Love is about giving and taking. If you haven’t learnt how to give sincerely, don’t take. And always strike a balance.
Monday, 14 February 2011
I got this from one of the blog which i have read, and i can concur with it.
Love is not…
· Just wanting the same thing. Taking the same route there is equally important, if not more.
· Giving in blindly. Losing yourself will definitely take a toll on your relationship.
· Holding on to what’s not yours.
· Forever. Accept that.
· Making empty promises to pacify your loved ones. Taking small conscientious steps to improve is more admirable.
· Divisible. You have to multiply it.
· Me! Me! Me! It’s us.
· Assuming you know everything. It’s about learning.
· Turning a deaf ear. You have to listen. Hard.
· Keeping quiet either. Communication is key.
Love is not…
· Just wanting the same thing. Taking the same route there is equally important, if not more.
· Giving in blindly. Losing yourself will definitely take a toll on your relationship.
· Holding on to what’s not yours.
· Forever. Accept that.
· Making empty promises to pacify your loved ones. Taking small conscientious steps to improve is more admirable.
· Divisible. You have to multiply it.
· Me! Me! Me! It’s us.
· Assuming you know everything. It’s about learning.
· Turning a deaf ear. You have to listen. Hard.
· Keeping quiet either. Communication is key.
Happy Valentine Day
Happy Valentine Day Stefan
Hope you have a good one.
While for me, it is another lonely valentine day...
Hope you have a good one.
While for me, it is another lonely valentine day...
cleaning up
cleaning up my room can be pretty therapeutic =)
no luck with internship, exam tomorrow. Guan Yin Ma bless me...
no luck with internship, exam tomorrow. Guan Yin Ma bless me...
Sunday, 13 February 2011
the ideal home?
Now is perhaps not the right time to write about my dream home considering i have yet to study for my two tests in the coming week, but i am so excited just thinking about it.
My dream home will ideally be 2-bed room apartment, with a nice balcony. In the living room, a 6 seater dining table, with a L shape sofa, facing a 32 or 37" tv. it will probably have a minimalist concept, with a coffee table, and a shelf. If possible, it could have a small working table, or just a bar table, facing the balcony, where i could work and surf net on my laptop, which enjoying the tv, and the sights. It will probably be wireless, with the wifi linking up the hi-fi sound system, mac book, and tv.
My kitchen will be a simple one, with nothing fanciful but i want to have a nice fridge =D
I am considering either a sauna or a bathtub in my toilet, depending on the country i will be residing in. If there is 4 seasons, i would have a sauna, and i do miss hiding in the sauna in the cold winter! Furthermore, i seldom see the use of a bathtub.
I will have a study room/nursery should i have kids in the future. It will be simple, with a study table, and maybe a sofa bed, with books on a shelves beside it. I could host my friends in this room in my future. I will have an iMac in this room, with a wireless printer, and entertainment box, linking to the tv content.
My master bedroom, will be classic design, with a bed, and tv, and a wardrobe.
I can visualise my future home now, and cant wait to have my first apartment by the age of 35! =D
My dream home will ideally be 2-bed room apartment, with a nice balcony. In the living room, a 6 seater dining table, with a L shape sofa, facing a 32 or 37" tv. it will probably have a minimalist concept, with a coffee table, and a shelf. If possible, it could have a small working table, or just a bar table, facing the balcony, where i could work and surf net on my laptop, which enjoying the tv, and the sights. It will probably be wireless, with the wifi linking up the hi-fi sound system, mac book, and tv.
My kitchen will be a simple one, with nothing fanciful but i want to have a nice fridge =D
I am considering either a sauna or a bathtub in my toilet, depending on the country i will be residing in. If there is 4 seasons, i would have a sauna, and i do miss hiding in the sauna in the cold winter! Furthermore, i seldom see the use of a bathtub.
I will have a study room/nursery should i have kids in the future. It will be simple, with a study table, and maybe a sofa bed, with books on a shelves beside it. I could host my friends in this room in my future. I will have an iMac in this room, with a wireless printer, and entertainment box, linking to the tv content.
My master bedroom, will be classic design, with a bed, and tv, and a wardrobe.
I can visualise my future home now, and cant wait to have my first apartment by the age of 35! =D
Thursday, 10 February 2011
suddenly
This morning, i woke up, overwhelmed by my feelings for him. Since this morning, i have been thinking of him. It is bad, really bad. Spent the day crying on my bed again. =( I do not know why, but maybe, all those issues which my friends are going through right now with their relationships just remind me of what i gone through, and the issues between us.
haiz....
haiz....
Sunday, 6 February 2011
did your angmoh friend call you?
went for a dinner just now with my relatives, and my aunt asked if he has called back. Well, apparently not. He has not called ever since he left, and there is no reason for him to do so.
Saturday, 5 February 2011
Long Distance
There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the time
And I'm running out of things to do
To get you off my mind
Ooohh,no
All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face every day
With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days
While I'm away
You know right now I can't be home
But I'm coming home soon,coming home soon
All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face again
With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
Can you hear me crying?
Can you hear me crying?
Can you hear me crying?
With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the tïme..
That I can sing to pass the time
And I'm running out of things to do
To get you off my mind
Ooohh,no
All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face every day
With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days
While I'm away
You know right now I can't be home
But I'm coming home soon,coming home soon
All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face again
With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
Can you hear me crying?
Can you hear me crying?
Can you hear me crying?
With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the tïme..
loving for who they are
I was pretty upset and annoyed by something which happened this morning.
It started when I was chatting with someone yesterday, and it just comes to my mind that some people, they are kinda single minded. In their world, everyone should think like them, or share their values. I can just quote an example of people attending wedding dinner as a guest, and advocating the bads of eating shark fins at the host wedding dinner. I just reckon that diets are a lifestyle choice, and we do not have to enforce our choice onto anyone, certainly not at the wedding dinner of your friends. Similarly, me opting to go vegetarian on certain days and abstain from beef due to my religion, does not mean that i am more holy or religions or "right" than someone who is of the same religion as me and does not have these diets constraints. The world is full of people, each and everyone of us are unique, and it is time for us to embrace those around us for who they are, accepting their choices they have made in life. I find it annoying that people like to judge on people whom they supposedly love, because of some differences.
another point which i wanted to make is accepting the differences. Like many of my friends have known, BoBo is not the cutest cat nor is he the obedient cat ever. Many of my friends who have pets and animals will know that, as their "owner" or "friends", we always stand by them. No matter how naughty they can be, we still love them deeply.
Many people have told me that BoBo is a very naughty cat. BoBo bites, BoBo scratches, and he is spoilt, picky about food, and even fight with me over my pillow when i sleep. He sheds fur wherever he goes. But no matter how naughty he is, or how dirty he may be, he is always welcome to sleep with me, in my blanket and i will always hug him everyday. That is loving the living beings for who they are, accepting that they may never be the best, or who we want them to be. To me, that is the greatest love, loving those around you for who they are, just like how my parents never give up on me, and love me for who i am, during my darkest hours in my life.
It started when I was chatting with someone yesterday, and it just comes to my mind that some people, they are kinda single minded. In their world, everyone should think like them, or share their values. I can just quote an example of people attending wedding dinner as a guest, and advocating the bads of eating shark fins at the host wedding dinner. I just reckon that diets are a lifestyle choice, and we do not have to enforce our choice onto anyone, certainly not at the wedding dinner of your friends. Similarly, me opting to go vegetarian on certain days and abstain from beef due to my religion, does not mean that i am more holy or religions or "right" than someone who is of the same religion as me and does not have these diets constraints. The world is full of people, each and everyone of us are unique, and it is time for us to embrace those around us for who they are, accepting their choices they have made in life. I find it annoying that people like to judge on people whom they supposedly love, because of some differences.
another point which i wanted to make is accepting the differences. Like many of my friends have known, BoBo is not the cutest cat nor is he the obedient cat ever. Many of my friends who have pets and animals will know that, as their "owner" or "friends", we always stand by them. No matter how naughty they can be, we still love them deeply.
Many people have told me that BoBo is a very naughty cat. BoBo bites, BoBo scratches, and he is spoilt, picky about food, and even fight with me over my pillow when i sleep. He sheds fur wherever he goes. But no matter how naughty he is, or how dirty he may be, he is always welcome to sleep with me, in my blanket and i will always hug him everyday. That is loving the living beings for who they are, accepting that they may never be the best, or who we want them to be. To me, that is the greatest love, loving those around you for who they are, just like how my parents never give up on me, and love me for who i am, during my darkest hours in my life.
Thursday, 3 February 2011
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
CNY
The year of tiger is coming to an end. Time really flies. Last year, on the eve of the lunar new year, I was in Levi, northern Finland. I started the day by skiing for the first time, and took several hard tumbles. It was very cold, yet very fun. I had a great time with my friends in Levi. After the skiing, I went grocery shopping for the reunion dinner in Levi, with my friends. It was great, and I am proud of my effort. I cooked 4 dishes in a very short time, and together with the help of my Taiwanese friends, we had a feast! Coke, Whisky, Salmon, Chicken, Pork, Soup, Veggie. I think the dinner was wonderful considering the limited amount of resources we had in Levi. I do miss the dinner and the fun we had, and missing my friends from Taiwan, Cheryl, Susan, Larry, Sujin from Seoul, and Vivien from Singapore!
I even brought a new set of clothes to change in Levi, as with the traditions. I also called home, in the afternoon, when my family was having reunion dinner in Singapore. I chatted with them, my grandma, and my relatives. It was kind of touching. I do miss the Chinese New Year snacks, like Bah Kwa, and pineapple tarts. During my stay in Europe, I often dreamt of these foods, and I bought Bah Kwa in the first week I was back home.
After the Dinner, I had a magical moment as I trekked up the hill with my friends and caught the Aurora Borealis. It was great and magical. What a way to welcome the New Year. I thought that the year of tiger will be good for me, and it was good for most part. 9 good months and 3 bad months. I guess it is a pretty decent year. Lets hope that the year of rabbit will be a better one!
Chinese New Year is the most important festival for most Asians. This year, as my grandma passed away a couple of months ago, I will not be celebrating it again. Do I miss Chinese New Year? Perhaps not. While I love the goodies and the food, I do not miss the occasion. To me, it is the most demanding festival of the year. We have to do the cleaning, the visiting, and sometime, tensions run high. I know that my mum is always extremely tired after the eve and first day of Chinese New Year, due to the cleaning involved, as well as the long trip to Malaysia for visiting of relatives. For me, I do not see any point of this madness of cleaning and washing up. I do appreciate the traditions of reunion dinner and wearing new clothes, as the latter give me excuse to buy new clothes and shoes.
This year, I have my new jeans bought in Finland, 3 t-shirts bought in Hong Kong, 3 polo shirts bought from ae.com, and a new pair of shoes from Dr Marten. I also take this chance and cleared the stuff which I no longer need or want. Hopefully, with the stuff cleared, I will have enough space this coming new year for new gifts and new people.
For the second year running, I will not be celebrating Chinese New Year, but this year, with all the constant cleaning, and screaming at home, Chinese New Year is still not a festival I look forward to. I went to Chinatown with my friends yesterday, and these are some of the pictures taken. It is a tradition to visit the Chinese New Year Market in Chinatown.
Happy New Year everyone in The Year of Rabbit!
I even brought a new set of clothes to change in Levi, as with the traditions. I also called home, in the afternoon, when my family was having reunion dinner in Singapore. I chatted with them, my grandma, and my relatives. It was kind of touching. I do miss the Chinese New Year snacks, like Bah Kwa, and pineapple tarts. During my stay in Europe, I often dreamt of these foods, and I bought Bah Kwa in the first week I was back home.
After the Dinner, I had a magical moment as I trekked up the hill with my friends and caught the Aurora Borealis. It was great and magical. What a way to welcome the New Year. I thought that the year of tiger will be good for me, and it was good for most part. 9 good months and 3 bad months. I guess it is a pretty decent year. Lets hope that the year of rabbit will be a better one!
Chinese New Year is the most important festival for most Asians. This year, as my grandma passed away a couple of months ago, I will not be celebrating it again. Do I miss Chinese New Year? Perhaps not. While I love the goodies and the food, I do not miss the occasion. To me, it is the most demanding festival of the year. We have to do the cleaning, the visiting, and sometime, tensions run high. I know that my mum is always extremely tired after the eve and first day of Chinese New Year, due to the cleaning involved, as well as the long trip to Malaysia for visiting of relatives. For me, I do not see any point of this madness of cleaning and washing up. I do appreciate the traditions of reunion dinner and wearing new clothes, as the latter give me excuse to buy new clothes and shoes.
This year, I have my new jeans bought in Finland, 3 t-shirts bought in Hong Kong, 3 polo shirts bought from ae.com, and a new pair of shoes from Dr Marten. I also take this chance and cleared the stuff which I no longer need or want. Hopefully, with the stuff cleared, I will have enough space this coming new year for new gifts and new people.
For the second year running, I will not be celebrating Chinese New Year, but this year, with all the constant cleaning, and screaming at home, Chinese New Year is still not a festival I look forward to. I went to Chinatown with my friends yesterday, and these are some of the pictures taken. It is a tradition to visit the Chinese New Year Market in Chinatown.
Happy New Year everyone in The Year of Rabbit!
the last parcel
Well, after 3 days of frantic work, i finally compiled the whole parcel for him. Last night was tough, i had to rush my assignment, and wrapped the whole parcel for him. Plus, my nose was running again last night. Somehow, i remembered clearly, during my sleep, i was praying to guan yin ma, telling her how much i love him. It was silly of me, and stupid. It does not matter how i feel towards him, because we are 6600 miles apart. It does not matter how much i wanted to be with him because he already has someone.
With the parcel, i hope that i will move on. His stuff are locked up in one corner of my room, while i guess, with tomorrow being a new year, things will change for the better =)
With the parcel, i hope that i will move on. His stuff are locked up in one corner of my room, while i guess, with tomorrow being a new year, things will change for the better =)
Sunday, 30 January 2011
Break Even...
For you...
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake, she has no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)
You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryin' make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no, it don't break even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even)
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake, she has no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)
You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryin' make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no, it don't break even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even)
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Saturday, 29 January 2011
a good sleep
Have not slept so well over the past month, 12 hours of sleep... I did wake up in the middle of the night, thinking about him, but hey! no matter what i do or think, it no longer matters as we will never be together. why not just chill and sleep, and have fun!
On the positive note, I finally received a letter of reference from my professor!
Just a short quote from the letter "What comes across in Boon Sun’s writing is typical of the man as I know him to be; a sincere humanist, determined and courageous"
plus, i have received the cosmetics! time to send the stuff out and move on!
On the positive note, I finally received a letter of reference from my professor!
Just a short quote from the letter "What comes across in Boon Sun’s writing is typical of the man as I know him to be; a sincere humanist, determined and courageous"
plus, i have received the cosmetics! time to send the stuff out and move on!
Angry, disappointed but not sad
Well reflecting through my thoughts just now at my aunt place, I realised that i am not sad, or rather, i am angry and disappointed. Angry and disappointed at how he claimed to have someone as a PARTNER within 2 weeks. I think we are really different as how we see a relationship. A partner to me, is lifelong, and certainly, no one will ever be my partner when i know him less than 2 weeks. Like he said, it was a good start, so hopefully, things would last. As long as he is happy.
I think i am better than what he think of me, and i will never let him get me down. Perhaps i should adopt sir alex ferguson attitude, no one is bigger than me, and it is no use to keep anyone around you, if their heart is no longer with you.
To me, he is just a guy who is desperate for company, just like in Singapore, in oslo, and now, back in Frankfurt. All the best.
I think i am better than what he think of me, and i will never let him get me down. Perhaps i should adopt sir alex ferguson attitude, no one is bigger than me, and it is no use to keep anyone around you, if their heart is no longer with you.
To me, he is just a guy who is desperate for company, just like in Singapore, in oslo, and now, back in Frankfurt. All the best.
Friday, 28 January 2011
I was right
Last week, i told bobo that he has found a new guy. In the end, I was right. He has found someone, and now, they are together in a relationship.
I can only wish him all the best, and wonder what to do with the present which i have bought for him.
Having a relationship with someone whom you know for less than 2 weeks, just shows how different we are.
I can only wish him all the best, and wonder what to do with the present which i have bought for him.
Having a relationship with someone whom you know for less than 2 weeks, just shows how different we are.
Monday, 24 January 2011
he is fine
he told me he is fine, after several SMSes and miss calls, with one voicemail. Do not wish to grumble anymore, as long as he is fine.
Still cant get over what happened in oslo, oh well, maybe it takes time. but not sure if i can ever get over it. those empty promises and excuses...
Did a video for his birthday, first time making a video, and i think it is pretty good. took me 3 hours to do it! hopefully, he will like it.
Life is like a piece of white paper, any mistakes will leave a permanent mark on it, and one could never erase it...
Still cant get over what happened in oslo, oh well, maybe it takes time. but not sure if i can ever get over it. those empty promises and excuses...
Did a video for his birthday, first time making a video, and i think it is pretty good. took me 3 hours to do it! hopefully, he will like it.
Life is like a piece of white paper, any mistakes will leave a permanent mark on it, and one could never erase it...
Sunday, 23 January 2011
another day
I did not sleep well last night, was worried sick about him, and yet he did not bother to reply sms or pick up my calls.
Sometime i do not understand why is it so hard to just pick up the call, and said, i am fine. I know that we are on a bad terms, but still, 6 months of feelings just do not go away in a moment of time. I did say harsh words to you over email, and acted like a drama queen, but that is just me. It was to make you angry, and hate me. Maybe i have succeeded. I just sent an email to the police department, and can only hope that his name is not on the injured list.
Went shopping for his birthday gift today even though it is still 3 months away. I hope you will be happy receiving the presents.
Sometime, i was thinking, what if something really did happen to him in frankfurt? Is there anything that i could do? Nothing. So many obstacles in a long distance relationship, and too demanding for someone who is paranoid about things.
Anyway, another day will be gone, and i just have to accept that he will not reply my smses, and i have to assume that he is doing well.
Sometime i do not understand why is it so hard to just pick up the call, and said, i am fine. I know that we are on a bad terms, but still, 6 months of feelings just do not go away in a moment of time. I did say harsh words to you over email, and acted like a drama queen, but that is just me. It was to make you angry, and hate me. Maybe i have succeeded. I just sent an email to the police department, and can only hope that his name is not on the injured list.
Went shopping for his birthday gift today even though it is still 3 months away. I hope you will be happy receiving the presents.
Sometime, i was thinking, what if something really did happen to him in frankfurt? Is there anything that i could do? Nothing. So many obstacles in a long distance relationship, and too demanding for someone who is paranoid about things.
Anyway, another day will be gone, and i just have to accept that he will not reply my smses, and i have to assume that he is doing well.
Saturday, 22 January 2011
reason why i do not want a long distance relationship
This morning, i read news about a bus crashes into a busstop in frankfurt airport, and a bus stop usually used by the employees of the airport and lufthansa. One lady was killed and another 5 injured, 2 in serious conditions.
I was worried about him, and just sent an sms to him. This is one of the reason why i do not want a long distance relationship. Not being there and not knowing what happened. Same things happened when he was stuck somewhere in europe, and arrived back home without informing me. I think the problem is me, i worries over small matter, never suitable for a long distance relationship.
now, i could just pray that he would reply my sms, that he is alright.
I was worried about him, and just sent an sms to him. This is one of the reason why i do not want a long distance relationship. Not being there and not knowing what happened. Same things happened when he was stuck somewhere in europe, and arrived back home without informing me. I think the problem is me, i worries over small matter, never suitable for a long distance relationship.
now, i could just pray that he would reply my sms, that he is alright.
Friday, 21 January 2011
my prayers are being heard
Last week, i had a strange dream, that i went to visit this lady whom i know, and always respected, and cried for help. This lady, whom i addressed as ah ma, has a small "temple" at her place, and my mum always brought me over since young. In the dream, she comforted me and that things will be alright.
Yesterday, i visited the place with my mum, and i only told her that, i had a dream that i visited here for help. She prayed at the guan yin ma, and suddenly told my mum, poor boy, he kept on trying and trying, but there was no path for him to walk. He was so troubled that he could not sleep at night, but nobody knows, even his dad who sleeps next to him.
At this instance, i cried. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Past weeks, and months, i have been to Si Ma Lu, almost every week, and pray at home everyday. Hoping that Guan Yin Ma will help me to overcome these obstacles, the german, the studies, the internship, my health. I tried my best with the german, the studies and internship, but everything just failed. I have trouble sleeping for the past months, and even eating, but my parents did not noticed. I can only ask for help from Guan Yin Ma. Silly it may sound, but it seems like Guan Yin Ma has heard my prayers. I think it is very very amazing. I have never dream of the ah ma, and in the dream, i was there seeking help. When i was there, i only told her that i had a dream that i visited here, and after praying to the guan yin ma, she know what i am going through.
Now, i could only hope that Guan Yin Ma will help me and overcome these obstacles, and have the faith that she will never abandon me =D
One day, i will be with the german, and this year, i will find an internship, succeed in studies and finding my thesis supervisor!
an amazing experience.
Yesterday, i visited the place with my mum, and i only told her that, i had a dream that i visited here for help. She prayed at the guan yin ma, and suddenly told my mum, poor boy, he kept on trying and trying, but there was no path for him to walk. He was so troubled that he could not sleep at night, but nobody knows, even his dad who sleeps next to him.
At this instance, i cried. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Past weeks, and months, i have been to Si Ma Lu, almost every week, and pray at home everyday. Hoping that Guan Yin Ma will help me to overcome these obstacles, the german, the studies, the internship, my health. I tried my best with the german, the studies and internship, but everything just failed. I have trouble sleeping for the past months, and even eating, but my parents did not noticed. I can only ask for help from Guan Yin Ma. Silly it may sound, but it seems like Guan Yin Ma has heard my prayers. I think it is very very amazing. I have never dream of the ah ma, and in the dream, i was there seeking help. When i was there, i only told her that i had a dream that i visited here, and after praying to the guan yin ma, she know what i am going through.
Now, i could only hope that Guan Yin Ma will help me and overcome these obstacles, and have the faith that she will never abandon me =D
One day, i will be with the german, and this year, i will find an internship, succeed in studies and finding my thesis supervisor!
an amazing experience.
Monday, 17 January 2011
It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings
A friend of mine just shared this proverb with me.
From Wiki, It means that one should not assume the outcome of some activity (e.g.: a sports game) until it has actually finished.
I do not know if hope is a good or bad thing, but i still stand by my decision to be a jerk to stop meeting him.
PS: a guy whom i like smsed me this morning, asked me if i would like to meet up with his ex, as his ex is flying to Singapore...
F*CK!
From Wiki, It means that one should not assume the outcome of some activity (e.g.: a sports game) until it has actually finished.
I do not know if hope is a good or bad thing, but i still stand by my decision to be a jerk to stop meeting him.
PS: a guy whom i like smsed me this morning, asked me if i would like to meet up with his ex, as his ex is flying to Singapore...
F*CK!
i hate my life
suddenly cant help but think of him, and the incident in december. Sometime, when i walked home from the train station, i wished that he could be just beside me.
Life has been really crappy in recent days. Internship screwed, studies screwed. I probably made the wrong choice to delay my studies for writing a senior thesis when it involves so much work!
Basically, i feel like i am not making much progress in my life over the past 13 months and that feeling is really terrible.
I do miss him a lot.
Life has been really crappy in recent days. Internship screwed, studies screwed. I probably made the wrong choice to delay my studies for writing a senior thesis when it involves so much work!
Basically, i feel like i am not making much progress in my life over the past 13 months and that feeling is really terrible.
I do miss him a lot.
Saturday, 15 January 2011
Week 3 approaching
Did not feel well over the weekend, with the interrupted sleep, and angry emails exchanged with him. Thinking back, i was not agitated nor angry when i emailed him. Probably, the only motive of those emails were to make him angry, upset, and forget about me.
I spent most of the past 48 hours sleeping, recovering from flu and bad giddyness spell. A friend of mine asked me out at 11pm for a chat, and *ring ring*, something must been wrong. We had a chat under my void deck, and brought her choc and gummies =) She was there for me, when i was feeling like crap in december. I am glad that i am able to be with her, when she was feeling down last night.
This was when i realised, i still do not have any negative feelings about him. Deep down, i only have good words for him, just like how i spent 10 minutes telling my friend, how smart he is, to use the real egg cover to store the kinder surprise egg. It took me 4 months to realise that! I do miss him.
Well, tomorrow is the start of week 3, and works are piling up. I hope to come out with my thesis topic after CNY, and now, must start to revise my previous subjects, as i am already falling behind... Very fast!
love you.
I spent most of the past 48 hours sleeping, recovering from flu and bad giddyness spell. A friend of mine asked me out at 11pm for a chat, and *ring ring*, something must been wrong. We had a chat under my void deck, and brought her choc and gummies =) She was there for me, when i was feeling like crap in december. I am glad that i am able to be with her, when she was feeling down last night.
This was when i realised, i still do not have any negative feelings about him. Deep down, i only have good words for him, just like how i spent 10 minutes telling my friend, how smart he is, to use the real egg cover to store the kinder surprise egg. It took me 4 months to realise that! I do miss him.
Well, tomorrow is the start of week 3, and works are piling up. I hope to come out with my thesis topic after CNY, and now, must start to revise my previous subjects, as i am already falling behind... Very fast!
love you.
Friday, 14 January 2011
Somewhere over the rainbow
I just completed Glee Season 1. It has been some time since i can cry and laugh in the same episode.
A lot of shows have mentioned, it is the process that counts, not the end result. The process of me loving you was great. Truly one of the most marvelous moment in my life. Time just flies in the 6 months with you, every month comes so quickly and i was able to see you again. The past 7 weeks has been a drag, too slow. Every morning, the time goes too slow, and every night, time just flies past.
Thank you for everything you have given me. I really have a good time with you. I am sorry to be mean to you over the past few days. I do not want you to be upset, and neither do i want myself to be paranoid about things. It is better to make you believe that i do not have any more feelings for you, and that you will forget me and find your happiness without me in the shadow.
I still pray everyday, hoping that one day, fate will bring us together once more in the same city.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.
Love you.
A lot of shows have mentioned, it is the process that counts, not the end result. The process of me loving you was great. Truly one of the most marvelous moment in my life. Time just flies in the 6 months with you, every month comes so quickly and i was able to see you again. The past 7 weeks has been a drag, too slow. Every morning, the time goes too slow, and every night, time just flies past.
Thank you for everything you have given me. I really have a good time with you. I am sorry to be mean to you over the past few days. I do not want you to be upset, and neither do i want myself to be paranoid about things. It is better to make you believe that i do not have any more feelings for you, and that you will forget me and find your happiness without me in the shadow.
I still pray everyday, hoping that one day, fate will bring us together once more in the same city.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.
Love you.
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
Rebound guy
He always told me to find someone to get over him. The problem is, how can one enjoy the company of a stranger when he/she is thinking of that person?
I will not deny that i still very much like and miss him even after what i wrote. Using economic terms, when it is a one-off playoff, there is no incentive to stick to the game or rule. No reason to work out the issues because whatever we do, the end result is still zero.
I always believe in the process of doing things, and not the end result. However, not everyone thinks that way, and i have to respect his decision.
On a footnote, i had a coffee with a guy this evening, and dont think that it will have any more development. After sharing my travel stories, i do feel very blessed with the countries and experience i had. Now, i can only hope that i could go to shanghai for my internship.
Tomorrow is another brand new day!
I will not deny that i still very much like and miss him even after what i wrote. Using economic terms, when it is a one-off playoff, there is no incentive to stick to the game or rule. No reason to work out the issues because whatever we do, the end result is still zero.
I always believe in the process of doing things, and not the end result. However, not everyone thinks that way, and i have to respect his decision.
On a footnote, i had a coffee with a guy this evening, and dont think that it will have any more development. After sharing my travel stories, i do feel very blessed with the countries and experience i had. Now, i can only hope that i could go to shanghai for my internship.
Tomorrow is another brand new day!
Monday, 10 January 2011
First Post
He is coming back in a few hours time. Nervous, and cold sweats. Not sure if i am looking forward to his replies to my numerous long emails.
The detachment from him is tough. There were days which i felt better, but even in those days, i still think about him. However, i have to move on. On the positive side, my appetite is getting back. Hopefully, i will gain a kilo or two over the festive period, with FOOD FOOD FOOD and SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP!
During my sleep, i still dream about him, flying over to frankfurt to visit him, even though in reality, that possibility is as good as dead.
Internship, Work, Studies, these should keep me busy for the next few months.
The detachment from him is tough. There were days which i felt better, but even in those days, i still think about him. However, i have to move on. On the positive side, my appetite is getting back. Hopefully, i will gain a kilo or two over the festive period, with FOOD FOOD FOOD and SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP!
During my sleep, i still dream about him, flying over to frankfurt to visit him, even though in reality, that possibility is as good as dead.
Internship, Work, Studies, these should keep me busy for the next few months.
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