Update!

It has been ages since i last blogged! I have been busy lately, with my mid terms, Yoga and Gym! Yes, I have been working out lately in order to be more healthy and taking charge of my life feels wonderful!

I had friends from Russia over the last weekend, and it was busy with bringing them around, during the day, and meetings in the afternoons. It was cool to have them around, and somehow, I felt much more relaxed and chilled as compared to the time when Stefan was over here.

Some good news over the past weeks, I finally found an internship, and it is not India. It is an internship in EU delegations to Singapore! I just signed the agreement and I really feel good about it. Very excited about spending my whole summer with them! I only have 1 week break before the school starts, but then, i feel that it is worth it since an internship in such a prestigious organization is hard to come by.

I have gained 500g ever since i working out! this is good news for me since i have been desperately trying out to regain those weights which i have lost in Seoul. Pretty happy about it.

School is still crappy, but i think things would work out on its own.

I was looking through some blogs, and this link struck me. It just reminds me of how i first felt when i met stefan.

http://www.out.com/detail.asp?page=1&id=28479

"You can look at someone and feel like you’ve known him forever. The first night I ever had drinks with Richard I felt I knew everything about him."

Thats all folk, time to practise on my speech for tuesday and mid terms on friday! Wish me luck!

it is fate

He bought my family a musical box of choc for christmas. I found it very nice, but never keep it. Moments earlier, my sister gave the musical box to her gf. Maybe it is fate that it is time to move on, and not looking back at it...

Maybe it is good, or not, but now, i am sad. the last thing which reminds me of him, is gone.

Dont always take, take time to give...

Love is about giving and taking. If you haven’t learnt how to give sincerely, don’t take. And always strike a balance.

is love forever?

Love is forever. Like it or not, once you have loved, there's just no un-loving.

I got this from one of the blog which i have read, and i can concur with it.

Love is not…
· Just wanting the same thing. Taking the same route there is equally important, if not more.
· Giving in blindly. Losing yourself will definitely take a toll on your relationship.
· Holding on to what’s not yours.
· Forever. Accept that.
· Making empty promises to pacify your loved ones. Taking small conscientious steps to improve is more admirable.
· Divisible. You have to multiply it.
· Me! Me! Me! It’s us.
· Assuming you know everything. It’s about learning.
· Turning a deaf ear. You have to listen. Hard.
· Keeping quiet either. Communication is key.

Happy Valentine Day

Happy Valentine Day Stefan

Hope you have a good one.

While for me, it is another lonely valentine day...

cleaning up

cleaning up my room can be pretty therapeutic =)

no luck with internship, exam tomorrow. Guan Yin Ma bless me...

the ideal home?

Now is perhaps not the right time to write about my dream home considering i have yet to study for my two tests in the coming week, but i am so excited just thinking about it.

My dream home will ideally be 2-bed room apartment, with a nice balcony. In the living room, a 6 seater dining table, with a L shape sofa, facing a 32 or 37" tv. it will probably have a minimalist concept, with a coffee table, and a shelf. If possible, it could have a small working table, or just a bar table, facing the balcony, where i could work and surf net on my laptop, which enjoying the tv, and the sights. It will probably be wireless, with the wifi linking up the hi-fi sound system, mac book, and tv.

My kitchen will be a simple one, with nothing fanciful but i want to have a nice fridge =D

I am considering either a sauna or a bathtub in my toilet, depending on the country i will be residing in. If there is 4 seasons, i would have a sauna, and i do miss hiding in the sauna in the cold winter! Furthermore, i seldom see the use of a bathtub.

I will have a study room/nursery should i have kids in the future. It will be simple, with a study table, and maybe a sofa bed, with books on a shelves beside it. I could host my friends in this room in my future. I will have an iMac in this room, with a wireless printer, and entertainment box, linking to the tv content.

My master bedroom, will be classic design, with a bed, and tv, and a wardrobe.

I can visualise my future home now, and cant wait to have my first apartment by the age of 35! =D

suddenly

This morning, i woke up, overwhelmed by my feelings for him. Since this morning, i have been thinking of him. It is bad, really bad. Spent the day crying on my bed again. =( I do not know why, but maybe, all those issues which my friends are going through right now with their relationships just remind me of what i gone through, and the issues between us.

haiz....

did your angmoh friend call you?

went for a dinner just now with my relatives, and my aunt asked if he has called back. Well, apparently not. He has not called ever since he left, and there is no reason for him to do so.

Long Distance

There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the time
And I'm running out of things to do
To get you off my mind
Ooohh,no

All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face every day

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me

It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me

Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days
While I'm away
You know right now I can't be home
But I'm coming home soon,coming home soon

All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face again

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far

Can you hear me crying?
Can you hear me crying?
Can you hear me crying?

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me

It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me

There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the tïme..

loving for who they are

I was pretty upset and annoyed by something which happened this morning.

It started when I was chatting with someone yesterday, and it just comes to my mind that some people, they are kinda single minded. In their world, everyone should think like them, or share their values. I can just quote an example of people attending wedding dinner as a guest, and advocating the bads of eating shark fins at the host wedding dinner. I just reckon that diets are a lifestyle choice, and we do not have to enforce our choice onto anyone, certainly not at the wedding dinner of your friends. Similarly, me opting to go vegetarian on certain days and abstain from beef due to my religion, does not mean that i am more holy or religions or "right" than someone who is of the same religion as me and does not have these diets constraints. The world is full of people, each and everyone of us are unique, and it is time for us to embrace those around us for who they are, accepting their choices they have made in life. I find it annoying that people like to judge on people whom they supposedly love, because of some differences.

another point which i wanted to make is accepting the differences. Like many of my friends have known, BoBo is not the cutest cat nor is he the obedient cat ever. Many of my friends who have pets and animals will know that, as their "owner" or "friends", we always stand by them. No matter how naughty they can be, we still love them deeply.

Many people have told me that BoBo is a very naughty cat. BoBo bites, BoBo scratches, and he is spoilt, picky about food, and even fight with me over my pillow when i sleep. He sheds fur wherever he goes. But no matter how naughty he is, or how dirty he may be, he is always welcome to sleep with me, in my blanket and i will always hug him everyday. That is loving the living beings for who they are, accepting that they may never be the best, or who we want them to be. To me, that is the greatest love, loving those around you for who they are, just like how my parents never give up on me, and love me for who i am, during my darkest hours in my life.

my heart never lies

My heart still tells me that i love him very much. haiz

CNY

The year of tiger is coming to an end. Time really flies. Last year, on the eve of the lunar new year, I was in Levi, northern Finland. I started the day by skiing for the first time, and took several hard tumbles. It was very cold, yet very fun. I had a great time with my friends in Levi. After the skiing, I went grocery shopping for the reunion dinner in Levi, with my friends. It was great, and I am proud of my effort. I cooked 4 dishes in a very short time, and together with the help of my Taiwanese friends, we had a feast! Coke, Whisky, Salmon, Chicken, Pork, Soup, Veggie. I think the dinner was wonderful considering the limited amount of resources we had in Levi. I do miss the dinner and the fun we had, and missing my friends from Taiwan, Cheryl, Susan, Larry, Sujin from Seoul, and Vivien from Singapore!

I even brought a new set of clothes to change in Levi, as with the traditions. I also called home, in the afternoon, when my family was having reunion dinner in Singapore. I chatted with them, my grandma, and my relatives. It was kind of touching. I do miss the Chinese New Year snacks, like Bah Kwa, and pineapple tarts. During my stay in Europe, I often dreamt of these foods, and I bought Bah Kwa in the first week I was back home.

After the Dinner, I had a magical moment as I trekked up the hill with my friends and caught the Aurora Borealis. It was great and magical. What a way to welcome the New Year. I thought that the year of tiger will be good for me, and it was good for most part. 9 good months and 3 bad months. I guess it is a pretty decent year. Lets hope that the year of rabbit will be a better one!

Chinese New Year is the most important festival for most Asians. This year, as my grandma passed away a couple of months ago, I will not be celebrating it again. Do I miss Chinese New Year? Perhaps not. While I love the goodies and the food, I do not miss the occasion. To me, it is the most demanding festival of the year. We have to do the cleaning, the visiting, and sometime, tensions run high. I know that my mum is always extremely tired after the eve and first day of Chinese New Year, due to the cleaning involved, as well as the long trip to Malaysia for visiting of relatives. For me, I do not see any point of this madness of cleaning and washing up. I do appreciate the traditions of reunion dinner and wearing new clothes, as the latter give me excuse to buy new clothes and shoes.

This year, I have my new jeans bought in Finland, 3 t-shirts bought in Hong Kong, 3 polo shirts bought from ae.com, and a new pair of shoes from Dr Marten. I also take this chance and cleared the stuff which I no longer need or want. Hopefully, with the stuff cleared, I will have enough space this coming new year for new gifts and new people.

For the second year running, I will not be celebrating Chinese New Year, but this year, with all the constant cleaning, and screaming at home, Chinese New Year is still not a festival I look forward to. I went to Chinatown with my friends yesterday, and these are some of the pictures taken. It is a tradition to visit the Chinese New Year Market in Chinatown.

Happy New Year everyone in The Year of Rabbit!

the last parcel

Well, after 3 days of frantic work, i finally compiled the whole parcel for him. Last night was tough, i had to rush my assignment, and wrapped the whole parcel for him. Plus, my nose was running again last night. Somehow, i remembered clearly, during my sleep, i was praying to guan yin ma, telling her how much i love him. It was silly of me, and stupid. It does not matter how i feel towards him, because we are 6600 miles apart. It does not matter how much i wanted to be with him because he already has someone.

With the parcel, i hope that i will move on. His stuff are locked up in one corner of my room, while i guess, with tomorrow being a new year, things will change for the better =)